You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
