Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Randomize
