He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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