just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Randomize
