Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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