You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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