I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
