Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize