When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
