is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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