i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Randomize
