I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
