i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Randomize
