i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Randomize
