Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
50% drunk capacity currently
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
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