Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Let's paint friendship bongs
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
