I am in a vortex of obligation.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
