Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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