you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
