the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
