the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize