Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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