a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize