You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
