**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
