I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
