were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
