Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
