i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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