My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
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