the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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