his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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