I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
