once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
