I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
