Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
