I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
