I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
ok first of all what the fuck
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
