Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
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