Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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