This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
