I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
