the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
