Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
