then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
