just come out here and I will go home with you...
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
