I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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