...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
PANTIES FOUND
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
