I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
