Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
