Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
