I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize
