Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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