Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
