can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
