i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
