Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
