so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
