I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize