I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
actually, I'm a sock model
Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
