Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
