he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
