i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
