I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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