I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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